A couple of Fridays ago I had to leave work suddenly in an ambulance to go to the emergency room. Everyone thought I was having a heart attack. I was just confused at the time.
Don't get me wrong; I didn't know I wasn't having a heart attack. I just knew something was wrong but didn't know what.
I was sitting in my office doing my work as always. The night was going well actually.
Then suddenly I was losing concentration. Every thing seemed more dreamlike and unreal. I could feel my heart pounding away and something about it seemed off but I wasn't sure what.
So I called in a co-worker. Let's just call him Dan. "Dan, could you come in here for a moment?"
He came into my office and looked at me questioningly. "Dan, you were an EMT right? Could you check my pulse? Is it going as fast as it seems it is or am I imagining it?"
"Sure." Dan tips his head down and checks my wrist for a while. Then he straightens up and grabs the phone and immediately dials 911.
I start to protest but Dan just reassures me that everything will be ok and to just sit back and relax. Don't move too much. I didn't want to go to the hospital but I listen and sit back.
The Fire Dept. shows up first. Then the ambulance. They hook up the sensors to my chest. Then seem to really panic but try not to show it. They roll me out to the ambulance and take me to the ER, setting up IVs and spraying under my tongue with nitro and giving me chew able aspirin on the way. The aspirin was a tasty orange i remember. The nitro tasted bad.
They got me to the ER and rolled me in.
I don't remember much about the next couple hours. It was basically a blur. I just remember shorts bits.
Like everyone around the bed looking at the heart readout and being confused. Then I remember them telling me they were going to inject me with something that will briefly slow down my heart.
Oh and you might feel something. Feel something. Might. Well, I sure did feel something. I felt a huge pain in my chest and I thought I was going to die for the first time that night! I felt like they must have screwed up cause this was it! The end. Then in another second or so, it passed and I felt better. I tugged weakly on a nearby nurses sleeve. "Can we please not do that again?" I asked weakly. She assured me that they wouldn't but that it was a good good thing they did. And that they had learned a lot. I felt better then. I don't know who she was, but I thank her for the moment of reassurance.
I was then told that I was not having a heart attack. (Later I was told again that according to their tests I had never had a heart attack. I have no idea how they can tell that but it was nice to hear!) I had an... elevated heart rate. Which sounded like no big deal until they told me I had a resting heart rate of 168. Holy crap! My heart monitor would go ballistic if I got even close to that when I exercise!
They were able to bring the heart rate down with drugs. Then they slowly (it took about 2 hours) eased off the drugs and my heart stayed normal. And is still normal to this day.
So gold stars all around to the EMT's and the entire ER staff that night. Thank you very much!
The part that really unsettles me is that I don't think I would have gone in at all on my own. I really don't like hospitals. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't gone in. Maybe it would have self-corrected after a while. ... Maybe not.
So what it really boils down to is, I am pretty sure Dan saved my life that night. He didn't ask, he just picked up the phone and did the right thing.
Thank you Dan.
6 comments:
That must have been a horrifying experience to feel like you were actually close to death. That "this is it" moment. I got teared up reading that part, makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I'm glad you're ok. I wish they knew what was wrong.
Moments where you believe you're going to die, even if it only lasts for an instant, can be rather sobering and of course terrifying. A cheer for Dan and a cheer for Crazyman being able to write again another day.
Thank you very much.
I just hope now the doctors can come up with some answers.
Or at least a frequent visitor punch card. Every 5th ER visit free maybe?
After reading this post, I keep getting drawn back to the couple times in my life that I came close to death myself. The thoughts that I had during those times and the reflections of those thoughts were a large part of the reason I ceased having a strong faith in the Christian God. I was rather young when I first had a "this is it" moment, it changed where I was going in my life and can be directly traced to who I am today.
My question is: Has this experience changed your outlooks or goals or anything on a mental or philosophical level of that sort? If not, great! you had a firm idea of where you are and where you're going. But I've yet to have a "this is it" moment without walking away from it with a tiny bit of different perspective on things and am curious how this affected you...
I think that it is in the process of changing some of my thinking but not on a philisophical level.
For one thing it is a clear reminder that I do not have unlimited time to do the things I want. Kind of fits in with my ongoing mid life crisis in that respect.
Another way it has affected me is my aversion to doctors and hospitals. I still have the aversion but now I am struggling with the idea that I need to go there regularly. I do not trust doctors. Well, let me qualify that. In the emergency setting I guess I do because I had no qualms about going there at that time.
Maybe it is not the doctors I don't trust. I actually think the ones I am seeing are doing their best.
I don't trust the big pharmacutical companies. It is in their best financial interests to not cure you but to keep you hooked on the drugs the rest of your life. And to cause side effects that need other drugs. The more drugs you have to take the better it is for them.
A bit of a conflict of interest there.
Oh sweet jeebus, that's all you needed was more fuel for your midlife crisis. What's it been almost 15 years now?
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