Starhawk made a comment a while back about near death experiences and how they can change the course of your life.
I have been thinking about that. Especially after my latest extended hospital stay.
During this ER – hospital visit (five days) I was told at one point that I had congestive heart failure and was bleeding into my lungs. That’s the kind of thing that can really scare a guy! At least it scared this crazyman.
I later found out that that statement was not accurate. (a kind way of saying that the doctor lied to me) But the shock and fear that this pronouncement produced in me is still with me.
I am no longer confident in my health. I have to admit that until now, I never truly believed I was vulnerable to major health problems. If I am to be honest, and honesty is important to me, I still don’t truly believe I will die. Not really.
But the possibility of living in a severely crippled miserable state close to death has come down on me like a ton of bricks.
I still distrust the methods and motives of the big pharmaceutical companies but I no longer feel I can avoid taking the pills from them to deal with my severely high blood pressure. I now feel the urgency of taking those pills day and night.
I still think they may be a slippery slope for the drug companies. Pills for original problem. Followed by more pills for the side effects caused by first pills. Followed by even more pills for side effects of second set of pills.
But I am now on that slope, twice a day. Alarms set so I don’t forget.
I don’t like seeing the doctor at the clinic regularly and modifying my doses. But I like the ER and the hospital even less. So to avoid more ER visits, I will visit the clinic regularly.
I don’t want to go the ER anymore. The novelty has worn off.
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4 comments:
I don't think the idea of my own mortality has really sunk in for me yet. The idea of nonexistence. Although as an atheist, the idea of actually being dead doesn't bother me. For from nonexistence we are born and to nonexistence we return. I didn't exist for billions of years, not existing for billions more won't bother either.
However, while I'm here, I want life to be happy and good. For everyone that I love.
Doctors have been taught 2 methods of healing- surgery and drugs. We need more healers who specialize in preventative and helping the body to heal itself.
When I was 14 I lay trapped under a ride-on lawn mower and a lake that threatened to drown me. That moment, that acceptance of the fact that we all die some day, changed me forever.
It's a good thing that you're now willing to accept the drugs that the hospitals and drug companies are prescribing you. Continue to question why they're giving you what they're giving you. Yes they make money off of your expenditure, but it must work to some degree or another; otherwise they wouldn't be able to prescribe them in the first place.
Console yourself with the knowledge that if they are way off base, you could sue them for lots O' moolah :)
Lot's of money sounds real good! :-)
I am definitely going to stay on the pills. I am just overly cynical about it. *shrug*
Fiery:
The concepts of something and nothing.
There is no nothing, there is only the absence of something. When you say there is nothing in your pocket, you do not mean there is "nothingness" in you pocket. You mean you do not have other objects in your pocket. There is probably still lint and air and such.
There is no nothingness.
There's a brain teaser to wrap your mind around. lol
Though I am sure it is not too hard for you at all really.
Crazyman
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